Thursday 1 January 2015

Diary 1st January 2015

I had decided not to go get up for either New Years Eve or New Years Day.  Likewise I did on Christmas Day and Stephen's Day, as a result of my continuing pining for the relatives.
After my sleepless night I cudnt sleep O' Farrell rang me to arrange meetup of cinema. we were to see The Theory of Everything(Review here). We had a drink first then the movie. I was distraught after what Mark had done. He first said he was Noel Hughes. I kept repeating to myself we have a mole in the family tree. ie constantly bullying like Keith etc. Then when I looked at the number even closely I thought it was Chris from Kells. But I later learned when Chris himself had texted me saying he was NOT out for New Years Eve yet this other guy was. The reason Chris had texted me I was going through all the numbers I had saved etc that had no names n just wanted to find out who was who. I was literarely in floods of tears. Nearly having blades to meself.  I later learned that he has some form of depression when I asked if he had a mental illness. So then I found out in the end that it was mark when I looked earlier in the convo that he attempted to ring me a few times. I was this close to putting the blades to myself. Like I said to myself while still in bed, right that's it, can't take any of this. So I set about to get ready to go to the bathroom when I got a text from an unknown name ie number with no name. I asked who's this. And he replied Noel. I said to him, that he has no idea how he has made me feel ie happy. It just take a few words or letters to get a person out of Self Harm. No question.

So i came home. Went to my sis' aid.

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